The Cephalosquad's wise cleric Rev. Carl S. Berg provides sage advice to those in need ...
Dear Carl...
I'm employed as a servant but my master hasn't paid me in six months. How do I broach the delicate issue of payment with him? My master says that I'm an "intern" and I'm being paid in experience that will "benefit my later career". Am I allowed to leave, or will this earn me a flogging?
Yours, Unappreciated and underpaid, Aronnax
P.S. The sum I'm owed is 18 whole gold pieces, so it's quite a fortune.
Dear Unappreciated and underpaid Aronnax,
Too many times have I heard the woeful tale of a devoted servant working for no pay, be it called “Intern” or otherwise.
All your labors, be it to your master, employer, clients, patrons, or others, deserve to be paid. Labor without compensation is slavery, which should be outlawed at all costs. Though I do not know if you owe a debt of life to this master, if there is no contract in place holding you to his service without pay then you should demand compensation or leave! Remember, Tis’ better to take a flogging as a free man than to toil as a slave.
However, I will also say in this case, perhaps a trade of services is in order? Does you master have something to offer in exchange for the debt he owes you? Fine lodgings, fine ale, and other compensation certainty can compensate for your debt instead of coin.
May your bed be warm and your ale cold wherever you rest,
Yours Truly, Carl S. Berg.
Dear Carl ...
How do you get eldritch horror seal stains out of satin?
Yours in need, Mrs M. Miggins, Aronnax
Dear Ms. Higgins of Aronnax,
It is most fortuitous that you sent me this epistle. It is well known amongst the religious sects that stains from the realms beyond, be it eldritch, from the 7 circles, abyssal, pandemonic, or even the more aquatic/mucosal angelic realms require some amount of divine intervention in order to be completely flushed from fabric.
Unfortunately, satin is a very fine fabric and is quite delicate, so this treatment may be quite tricky. I’d suggest a mixture of holy water and a mineral/grain spirit mix as a presoak, but the trick there is to find something that won’t immediately dissolve the fabric, as most of these types of mixtures are for polishing and removing scale from metal. Once treated, a good hand wash with soap and water should remove the rest of it, followed by a quick blessing from your local priest or druid should flush out the last of the remaining eldritch energy.
Good luck with your washing,
Yours Truly, Carl S. Berg.
How do you get eldritch horror seal stains out of satin?
Yours in need, Mrs M. Miggins, Aronnax
Dear Ms. Higgins of Aronnax,
It is most fortuitous that you sent me this epistle. It is well known amongst the religious sects that stains from the realms beyond, be it eldritch, from the 7 circles, abyssal, pandemonic, or even the more aquatic/mucosal angelic realms require some amount of divine intervention in order to be completely flushed from fabric.
Unfortunately, satin is a very fine fabric and is quite delicate, so this treatment may be quite tricky. I’d suggest a mixture of holy water and a mineral/grain spirit mix as a presoak, but the trick there is to find something that won’t immediately dissolve the fabric, as most of these types of mixtures are for polishing and removing scale from metal. Once treated, a good hand wash with soap and water should remove the rest of it, followed by a quick blessing from your local priest or druid should flush out the last of the remaining eldritch energy.
Good luck with your washing,
Yours Truly, Carl S. Berg.
Dear Carl ...
Do dragonborn have, you know ... gentlemanly parts ... or do they have a cloaca like lizards...?
Asking for a friend, Aronnax ...
Dear “Asking for a Friend”,
Normally I would be loath to answer such a question, but recently on a bet (I won’t distress our readers with the specifics) I was forced to deal with some preserved dragon genitalia in a laboratory at a local field station, so I have gained some insight in this topic.
Now I do realize that this is a logical inference, as dragonborn are a sub-race of dragons, but in regular dragons, they do have a cloaca, and within the cloaca is retractable “gentlemanly parts” as you delicately called it. The organ itself is not humanoid, more dragon-like actually, and if they scale proportionally to body size, would be a force to be reckoned with in any gentlemanly situation.
Good luck figuring yourself out.
Your truly, Carl S. Berg.
Do dragonborn have, you know ... gentlemanly parts ... or do they have a cloaca like lizards...?
Asking for a friend, Aronnax ...
Dear “Asking for a Friend”,
Normally I would be loath to answer such a question, but recently on a bet (I won’t distress our readers with the specifics) I was forced to deal with some preserved dragon genitalia in a laboratory at a local field station, so I have gained some insight in this topic.
Now I do realize that this is a logical inference, as dragonborn are a sub-race of dragons, but in regular dragons, they do have a cloaca, and within the cloaca is retractable “gentlemanly parts” as you delicately called it. The organ itself is not humanoid, more dragon-like actually, and if they scale proportionally to body size, would be a force to be reckoned with in any gentlemanly situation.
Good luck figuring yourself out.
Your truly, Carl S. Berg.